Sup. It's me. You. I mean, I'm you.
You get it.
Anyway, on the odd chance that time travel gets invented, I wanted to let you know a few things. First of all, it's 2016 which sounds so futuristic, I know, but other than the cellphones that got super small and then super big again, things are still the same. Well... I guess that's not technically true.
After 24 years of living at home, you moved out a few months before your 25th birthday. You were scared and you weren't sure if you could do it. You were worried that you would feel lonely and isolated and gain weight and want to come running home. Well... the first three happened but you didn't run home. You stayed out. And now it's a year later and you're living in your very first apartment that you pay rent on. You buy the food for it, you clean the tub and sinks, you do the laundry, you watch copious amounts of TV in it and you have your family and friends come to explore your living space.
It's pretty fucking incredible.
There are a few things I think you should know though, because I know myself and I know you're still nervous even though things have turned out alright. Here's what I would have wanted to know before moving out, but that I could only learn by actually moving out:
1. There is always something to clean.
Always. Never not. Always.
2. You will get excited over the prospect of new dish towels.
Especially fun ones you get from friends.
3. You will eat breakfast for dinner. A lot.
A lot, a lot.
4. Having parents with a Costco membership means ALL THE FREE TOILET PAPER YOU NEED!
As long as they offer, keep taking them up on it.
5. Have I mentioned that it is impossible to keep the place clean?
Baffled at how my mother does it.
6. You're going to get lonely sometimes but it's okay.
Everyone gets lonely but at the end of the day, living alone is still the better option.
7. Only once will you get scared that someone was out on the balcony.
But as the wise Ms. Swift once said, "the monsters turned out to be just trees."
8. You'll never eat ice cream for dinner.
You just... don't even want to.
9. You won't be wandering around naked either.
The floor is cold and I don't want my bare butt on any of my furniture.
10. This is the most grown up and independent you'll feel about anything ever.
Honestly, even buying tenant insurance has a certain pizzazz to it.
So don't be scared. It'll be okay. And if you really need it... we'll have ice cream for dinner.